2008 was an incredible political year, mostly because the guy who everyone thought was placing his mark for a future presidential race ended up winning the big prize himself. Oh yes, and he's African-American. And he carried North Carolina, Virginia and Indiana. On the other hand, there was this ditch called Prop 8 that the lgbt marriage equality movement stumbled into. Oh yes, and we may be in a depression to rival the ones our parents and grandparents talk about. And we're still mired in not one, but two wars.
So for better or worse, let's wrap this sucker up. Herewith my modest proposals for tying up the loose political ends of 2008:
Appoint Tina Fey the new senator from New York. She's at least as funny and smart as Al Franken, and while she didn't compete in any electoral races this fall, she probably had as much impact on the big one as anyone in the country.
As for that Illinois seat, let Oprah decide. Billionaires always get to decide these things, and she's certainly my favorite billionaire. Maybe she'll pick Dr. "it's time to get real" "no dog ever peed on a moving car" Phil. I can see it now: Dr. Phil, Al Franken, and Tina Fey quiz potential Supreme Court nominees. Sweet.
Establish the Bush-Cheney Truth and Reconciliation Commission. Although prosecution is justified, it will never happen in the US and will produce only a nativist backlash if it happens in an international tribunal. This is an American mess that Americans ought to clean up.
Appoint Elizabeth Edwards ambassador to Tahiti. If anyone deserves a warm, cushy job, she does. And the family needs it, since John may be the only Democratic also ran who doesn't get a job in the Obama administration. Silda Wall Spitzer can be her deputy.
What to do with Rick Warren? Get him a TV talk show … with Whoopi Goldberg as co-host. Book lots of interesting guests. Whatever happened to Harvey Fierstein? I almost never watch television, but I'd watch that.